Got a friend or roommate struggling with a breakup? Be a good friend with these 5 tips from College Cures!
1. Let Him/Her Vent.
I know it can be annoying to listen to your friend go over the details of their breakup (and every detail of their relationship) with you, but as a friend, you should be there through it all.
Sure you’ve heard the story about how “he kissed that girl at that party” or how “she never got along with my friends” about a million times, but suck it up and listen anyway.
Continue to give the same advice and comforting responses as you did the first 100 times because by the 200th time, he/she will probably get sick of talking about it too.
A big part of going through a breakup is the venting process.
Once your friend lays it all out on the table and asks your opinion on whatever it is on his/her mind, your friend will be able to start moving on (which also means a rest for you).
2. Make a List
I lived with two of my good friends my sophomore/junior year of college and every time I went through a breakup, we would sit down and make a list of all the reasons why I was glad to be no longer in the relationship.
Not only is it fun to make the list, but it gives your friend the chance to talk about all the bad things he/she did not like about the ex. It helps to put things in perspective, especially when all your friend wants to do is focus on the good times.
Was he/she always putting your friend last? How about his/her sloppy-drunk behavior? Put it on the list!
While making the list, your friend will begin to see the reasons why it didn’t work out and why it probably never would have lasted, and this helps him/her to move on as well….plus me and my roommates would DIE laughing while making each of the lists, then re-open them throughout the year for more laughs!
The list also serves as a reference for future relationships; now your friend will avoid the things he/she hated about the last relationship and avoid making those same mistakes in the future.
3. Introduce Something New
What better way to distract your friend from a breakup by introducing a project or something new into his/her life?
Home Goods, Home Depot or Walmart
See if your friend wants to remodel your dorm or apartment. Maybe you guys have been talking about adding curtains or painting the walls a different color; whatever it is, now is the perfect time to do it!
Put up a few shelves, add some new pictures, or re-vamp your living room; anything to distract your friend from the breakup.
Check out the Exercise Classes at Your School
Fit something healthy into both of your schedules by trying a new exercise class.
Sweating/working out will help both you and your friend burn off steam and you will have a great time trying something together.
Your friend may love the class so much he/she will end up going every day!
For Guys (and ladies): Try a Boxing Class
See if your school offers boxing classes or if there is a club nearby that does. Boxing is a superb way to blow off steam and whip your body into shape!
For Ladies: Try a Pole Dancing Class
My roommates and I tried this our senior year and it was SO much fun! Not only did we have a blast learning something new (and in stiletto heels), it was legitimately the best workout I have ever had in my life!
4. Suggest Distractions
Instead of letting your pal rot in his/her dorm bed with a box of tissues and a picture of the ex, grab your friend and force ‘em to go out and have a good time.
Plan a day trip
Focus on getting your friend through this hard time by giving him/her something else to think about. Think about your friends’ favorite places and plan something fun.
Does your friend like hiking or biking? Maybe take him/her to the state park or nearby trails for a day in nature.
Is your friend a movie buff? Plan on hanging out in the theater all day and catching some new movies.
Try a concert, shopping, going out to lunch/dinner, or doing whatever you have to do to help your friend get his/her mind off of the breakup!
Visit friends at other schools
This is a GREAT way to help your friend forget about his misery! Plan on spending the whole weekend AWAY from your campus and visiting a mutual friend at another school.
This way, your friend won’t be reminded of the ex by hanging around the places where he/she would be or seeing mutual friends at parties. Choose to go to a fun school with a fun party scene so your friend won’t even have time to think about the breakup.
Going to another school means meeting new people! A great way to get over an ex is to focus on someone else, so why not encourage your friend to talk to new people and maybe start chatting up someone new?
5. Throw a Mini Party in Your Dorm or Apartment
Your friend needs to be surrounded by people who care about him/her right now, so what better way to do this than to throw a party?
While your friend may be distracted with planning (or at least cleaning up or something), you should give your friend a job like getting the keg, making food, or putting together a play list so he/she won’t have time to be thinking about the breakup.
Once the party gets rolling and guests start arriving, your friend will be having a great time and may even forget about the breakup for a few hours.
Make sure to invite your friends, but also people that your friend doesn’t know so he/she can realize how many great people there are in the world (aside from his/her ex).
Make your friend feel special by getting him his favorite type of alcohol, cooking something she loves or playing his/her favorite songs at the party.