There have been many times when I have had disagreements with people over their same personality traits that I dislike about myself.
Being a self-proclaimed critical person often causes me to find little things about people to resent before ever getting to know them first. As a college freshman, I am meeting a lot of new people and discovering things about them I may or may not like upfront.
I find that I cannot stand to be with people who are like me because I find myself constantly saying: ‘I really hope I don’t come off like this to people’. To be clear, I don’t hate myself, but like most everyone else in the world there are aspects of my personality that I wouldn’t mind changing.
I have noticed that I often criticize someone for doing the same thing that I would do. I don’t necessarily hate them for it, but I find myself being very uncomfortable.
But why do we find discomfort in those who are JUST LIKE US?
Whether it be a roommate, friend, or even a professor; there are many people we will come across in our college years and beyond that will resemble our own traits and possibly dislike them for it.
Perhaps we dislike traits we see in others because we dislike them in ourselves.
When we see ourselves mirrored back to us it can either urge us to change our ways or dislike ourselves even more.
We have a choice to either come away with a deeper understanding of ourselves or be deeply bitter with dislike and even perhaps disgust.
How to Deal
If we find that we cannot live peaceably with those who are too much like us, the smart thing to do would be to walk away from that person.
But at the same time we cannot forget what we have observed. Each time we see ourselves mirrored back to us we have to see it as a learning experience.