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Worried you’re annoying on Facebook? Check out the 7 most useless (and in my opinion, most annoying) Facebook statuses you can post!

A great way to make sure you’re not posting a pointless status is to ask yourself, “Is there a function for my status?”.

Your status should either be spreading information (ex: raising awareness), narrating a funny anecdote, or even asking for help.

Facebook status

What shouldn’t your status be? Check out here:

1. The Ambiguous Status

Example: “Ugh.”; “Worst day of me life.”; “Yayayayayayay :)

The ambiguous status is the one that reveals nothing and therefore, is pointless!

If you don’t plan on explaining why your day sucked or why it’s the best day EVERRRRRR, then don’t bother sharing it!

2. The Hacked Status

Example: “I pee in my pants every night.”

The hacked status is the one that you know a dorm mate or friend typed while your friend was away from their computer in an attempt to be “funny.”

First time? Ha-ha. Second time? Hmph. Third time forward? Get new friends or learn to password protect your lap top!

3. The Rant

While your status is a place to share your views, your views best not take up more than 3 sentences.

Nobody wants a half page rant pop up on their feed about why you feel you deserved two fortune cookies from your local Chinese take-out joint as opposed to one.

The worst? Repeat ranters. These are the ones who have an issue with the world or someone every single week (or every day in some cases).

SHUT UP! Save your feelings for your therapist and/or best friend.

4. The Itinerary

Example: “Shower then driving to the grocery store then class and then pizza for dinner!”

Nobody cares what your day is like—and if they do, they might be a wee bit creepy—so it’s really annoying to see a play by play of your past or upcoming day.

Sure, if you’re going to be meeting President Obama for lunch or you’re meeting Megan Fox, we wanna know!

But if your itinerary involves day-to-day activities such as “showering” and “eating” than chances are nobody gives a shit!

5. The Compliment-Fishing Status/Pity-Inducing Status

Example: “Ughhhh I’m so ugly :(

If you’re trying to seek compliments and/or pity from your status, then DON’T!

While this may work the first time, it gets old FAST! Nobody wants to have to type out why you’re not morbidly obese, or try to comfort why you won’t be a spinster for the rest of your life.

6. The Copied and Pasted Lyrics

Example: “Your love is my drug <3″

We all know lyrics to songs and we don’t need you to aimlessly copy and paste verses as a status update. What’s the point? Do you hate that verse? Do you like it? Is it significant? Do you not comprehend it?

7. The Chain Status

Example: “Click this link and like this page to see your profile turn blue! OMG so amazing.”

The Chain status has no function, is annoying, stupid, and makes you seem foolish. Most of them don’t work and are meaningless ways for a page to get more likes.

  • http://www.vibethat.com Brett Napoli

    Nicely done Susmita, how true. Funny to think there is actually a social code of ethics to communication on the web. I feel less status updates overall, as a whole, would benefit us all. More often than not there isn’t something worth communicating with nearly every person you know.

    Then again – what is the purpose of a status anyways? Is less really more? Is all of this information useless, or is it being inputted into the wrong channels? Could a status update serve a greater purpose?

    Things to ponder. It will be fun to see what comes next.

About Susmita Baral

Susmita is a recent graduate of Rutgers University with a double major in Biological Sciences and Psychology and minor in South Asian studies. While at Rutgers, Susmita found the University's first chapter of Phi Delta Epsilon, an international co-ed fraternity, and served as Colony Coordinator and President. Susmita discovered her passion for writing in college when she found herself enjoying researching for and writing papers instead of working at biology labs. Upon graduating college, she took a 180 degree turn in her career goals and pursued her passion for writing. Susmita enjoys cooking and chronicles her culinary expeditions on her blog “Macaroni & Masala.” She is in pursuit of learning to fluently speak French and Italian and her interests include photography, traveling, art history and interior design. Susmita has earned the nickname "Brown Oprah" for moonlighting as a psychotherapist to her friends and family--offering advice in dating, interpersonal relationships, life goals and school. On College Cures Susmita channels her "inner Oprah" and parts advice based on her experiences as a college student.

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