College Cures Logo
Everything College, No Prerequisites.
RSS College Cures Facebook Page College Cures on Twitter College Cures Linkedin Page College Cures Youtube Channel Submit College Cures to Digg

We’ve all seen the lovey dovey couple that are joined at the hip and can’t get enough of each other. Some of us are envious of them and others feel nauseous at the mere sight of them holding hands.

Unfortunately, chick flicks, romance novels and Disney movies have made it an expectation and a requisite that once you’re in love, you must want to spend all your time together.

But is that healthy? Is it normal to be around your partner all day every day with no time to yourself?

I don’t think so! A little space in any relationship–no matter how solid–is the key to success. Distance REALLY does make the heart grow fonder!

Having space isn’t about separation, but about making sure you know how to function by yourself and perhaps most importantly, making sure you have time for YOURSELF.

Couple having issues

nikadon.com

Here are a few tips on how you can give your relationship space:

A. Never neglect your friends

Maintaining your friendships is an easy, foolproof way for your relationship to have space because you’ll be obligated to spend time with people other than your partner.

One of my best friends manages to forget all her friends once she has a boyfriend. She gets so consumed in HIS life and HIS friends that she forgets she had any of her own.

By making sure you don’t neglect your friends, you’re proactively making sure your relationships are being taken care of and finding good use of your spare time that doesn’t involve your partner.

Plus, the last thing you want to do is neglect your friendships so you have no one to fall back on when or IF your relationship doesn’t work out. You will always need your friends as a support system whether you are going through a breakup or a fight, it’s always nice to be able to call on a friend when you need them.

If you neglect your friends, you will have no one but yourself to confide in.

B. Spend one evening a week or every two weeks by yourself or with your friends

Guys call it “poker night” or a day out to play golf. Girls can call it “girls night out.” Whatever you call it, this kind of space is a great healthy way to do things without your significant other!

But you don’t have to include your friends to get some time apart; why not stay in one night (instead of spending the night at your partner’s dorm) at your own place and hang out with your roommates or by yourself?

Pop in a DVD, pop some popcorn and get comfortable in bed or on the couch. Not into movies or television? Try relaxing to some music, reading a book, or even catching up on school work you may have missed.

C. Don’t hesitate to set “ME” time

It’s totally normal and healthy to want “me” time. What’s me time? It varies by individual. For me, it’s a couple of hours every now and then when I can stay in bed, read magazines, watch TV shows and eat pizza without being disturbed by phone calls, texts, or any living being.

For my friend Jacob, “me” time is when he can bake brownies from scratch without being disturbed, ridiculed for baking or condemned for eating the entire batch.

So order in that take-out food you have been craving, go get a massage or pedicure, hit the gym by yourself and work up a sweat, pop in a load of laundry that you have been meaning to do, or try cleaning up your dorm or apartment.

Take home message: Wanting space in your relationship doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed!

Having space and time for yourself in your relationship is a healthy way to maintain your relationship, not wreck it! If you never spend time apart, neglect your friends or yourself, your relationship may not last very long at all.

About Susmita Baral

Susmita is a recent graduate of Rutgers University with a double major in Biological Sciences and Psychology and minor in South Asian studies. While at Rutgers, Susmita found the University's first chapter of Phi Delta Epsilon, an international co-ed fraternity, and served as Colony Coordinator and President. Susmita discovered her passion for writing in college when she found herself enjoying researching for and writing papers instead of working at biology labs. Upon graduating college, she took a 180 degree turn in her career goals and pursued her passion for writing. Susmita enjoys cooking and chronicles her culinary expeditions on her blog “Macaroni & Masala.” She is in pursuit of learning to fluently speak French and Italian and her interests include photography, traveling, art history and interior design. Susmita has earned the nickname "Brown Oprah" for moonlighting as a psychotherapist to her friends and family--offering advice in dating, interpersonal relationships, life goals and school. On College Cures Susmita channels her "inner Oprah" and parts advice based on her experiences as a college student.

Related Posts

How to Go From Crushing to Dating With These EASY Steps!
Featured Artist: Alicia Keys
Cheating & Infidelity in Relationships: What to Do When You Know Both Partners
Dorm Stories V: Your Weekly College Entertainment
The Big Exam: 5 Ways to Prepare for Finals
The Truth Behind the V-Word: Virginity and Being Abstinent in College
College Applications and College Video Essays: 5 Tips for Making Professional Video Essays
5 Things Students Need to Do for Their Career Before They Graduate