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Relationship Rules: Should You Date a Friend’s Ex?

Posted by 0 March 25, Friday, 2011
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College is notorious for swift relationships and break-ups.

When couples are forming and ending at this rate, you are bound to end up in a situation with one of your friend’s old flames. If this occurs, you better be prepared to commit or run away for the sake of your friend and/or potential new significant other.

You must consider many things before jumping into this kind of situation because it can get sticky in more than one way.

Ex and friends

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1. How long have they been broken up?

Remember that relationships build up and break down fast in college. With this in mind, if the pair has not been an item for several months, both parties have probably dated a number of other people since then.

2. How long was the couple together?

While the length of a relationship does not always determine the seriousness of it, it often shows how much commitment both people had to each other. More time spent together means a greater desire for success.

If your friend was with this person for many months, it may not be best to get involved because he/she may still see the person as his/her partner regardless of how long the relationship lasted.

3. Think about what the relationship with this person would mean to you.

 

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Is this boy or girl just a fling? If so, then it would be best to fling with someone else and not someone who had significant value to your friend. There are plenty of other options on campus for this so don’t go stirring up trouble for really no reason.

However, if your feelings are on a deeper level than physicalities for this person, think carefully: You do not want to miss out on a potentially satisfying relationship out of fear.

In this case, the best action may be to talk to your friend about him/her feelings of you dating the ex.

In the end, you should never dump a friend for a relationship. At this point in your life, you will probably have MANY relationships, but you won’t always have the opportunity to make great friends.

If you do end up dating your friend’s ex, buy your friend a gift to show your gratitude for how much you love and respect him/her as a friend; try Groupon.com for the best daily deals in your area!

Never neglect your friends for a dating prospect. Knowing the usual short-lived nature of college relationships, your pals will probably be a part of your life much longer than a fling or person you’re crushing on.


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About Michelle Frett

Michelle Frett is a sophomore English major with a minor in Communication Studies at The College of New Jersey. In addition to writing for College Cures, Michelle writes for her college magazine HerCampus, specifically focused on college women. She is also a proud sister of Sigma Kappa Sorority. Her mind is open to many possibilities, but she is currently pursuing a career in literary publishing. Michelle’s goal is to make college a more enjoyable experience, rather than a source of stress. She hopes to help students excel not only in academics, but in all other aspects of college life. The greatest advice she can give is to smile and make the most of every situation.

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