It’s age old advice that confidence helps you get the lady or man you want! But is it true?
A recent study suggests that an insecure person is more successful in the dating world because he/she tries harder.
A study at Queens College in New York has found that insecure people tend to fake confidence and as a result, come off as funny, engaging and charming. Naturally confident people, on the contrary, don’t make that extra effort and often come off as arrogant:
“…Students who rated themselves as being self-confident tended to come across as more arrogant. A “take it or leave it” attitude tended to pervade the interaction of these subjects. On the other hand, those students who characterized themselves as being more insecure seemed to be more attentive to the other person’s needs.” (PersonalMoneyStore.com)
The study also found that confident people tend to back off when they are not successful at courting, whereas insecure people don’t give up!
The authors of the study note that in the end, an insecure persons true nature always comes into light. According to Marie Claire Magazine:
“Insecurity leads to problems like poor communications, and anxious people in particular are jealous,” said co-author Claudia Brumbaugh.
So what’s the secret to winning hearts? Faking confidence while not coming off arrogant!
A “healthy balance” between being a secure person yet still having some insecurities/neurosis may be the best to not only win over the person you are crushing on, but to keep them as well.
If you are insecure, use your willingness to please and your attentive nature to catch the eye of your crush, but on the other hand, don’t let your anxious or jealous tendencies scare them off.
If you are insecure, work on becoming more secure with who you are and you will be much more likely to maintain a healthy relationship.