Almost any girl would be a little anxious to find herself in a relationship where the other half of her boyfriend’s bromance is a girl. There is always the nagging wonder of there being something more between them or him leaving you for her. When it comes to the question of whether or not guys and girls can be just friends there is no universal answer. Each friendship is based on several factors and no one case is exactly like the other. It is entirely possible for the friendship between a guy and a girl to turn into something more. It is also entirely possible for said friendship to be strictly platonic. Whether you consider yourself the jealous type or not you may have trouble believing him when he says they are just friends, but before you jump to conclusions here are a few things to remember:
They have a history.
It may not be a romantic history, but it’s a history none the less. He knows her favorite color is blue. She knows he’s terrified of heights. He knows about her strange obsession with penguins. She knows he and his brothers are named alphabetically. They’ll talk about the time he was snowed in at her house for two days and they’ll reminisce about the hilarious bloopers from the YouTube video they made a while back. When you find them taking a stroll down memory lane just remember they aren’t trying to make you jealous. The past can sometimes be fun to look back at; especially when you’re with your best friend. If you feel a little left out throw in some of your own stories. Acting confidant and comfortable in the situation could potentially impress your guy.
Just because it happens in movies doesn’t mean it will happen in reality.
Ah Hollywood! Sweet, glamorous, star filled Hollywood has certainly given us some unrealistic expectations of romance and love. It seems every direction we turn there’s a romantic comedy where you just know from the trailer the two main characters, who happen to be best friends, are destined to be together. Whether it’s Ross and Rachel from Friends, Lorelai and Luke from Gilmore Girls, or Matt and Jenna from 13 Going on 30, Hollywood never fails to give us the friendship turned relationship storyline. However, your life is not a movie and what happens is not based on a script. Movies and television are filled with events that don’t generally happen in our day to day lives. There’s no reason to base your life on the love triangle you just saw in Something Borrowed.
She’s a girl, so what?
The best girl friend has received a slightly bad reputation, but for what reason? While there are girls out there who have helped create this stereotype the rest of us have contributed to it in some way. We as woman are all so competitive and quick to compare ourselves to one another. If we found ourselves in a situation where our guy had another important girl in his life it wouldn’t be uncommon to see her as a threat. We seem to believe that just because she is a girl she is out to get what we have, but not all girls are trying to steal him away. If they’ve been friends for so long there is most likely a reason they aren’t together by now. In his eyes she is not just a girl, but his best friend.
They do love each other.
It would be ignorant to think otherwise and you would be lying to yourself if you did. No two people remain close friends without truly loving and caring about the other. You just have to know it’s a different kind of love he feels for you than he feels for her. If he didn’t love the both of you, he wouldn’t have bothered to introduce you to her. By having you two meet he is letting her know he thinks your relationship could become something serious. He is also hoping you’ll be willing to try and form a friendship with her. She is important to him and by bringing you together he is opening up a more personal part of his life to you. While his love for you grows just know his love for her will never change.
She’s probably struggling with it too.
You may be having difficulty accepting that his best friend is a girl, but she may be having difficulty accepting that her best friend is in a relationship. She’s used to being the most important girl in his life and him bringing you into the picture changes things for her. She knows she will no longer be the first person he calls when he has good news, no longer be the person he turns to when he’s had a bad day, and no longer be the only girl he wants to spend time with. If she truly cares about him she’ll want what makes him happy and if that’s you then she will accept it no matter how hard it is for her. She knows that if your relationship becomes serious she won’t be gone for good, but you will take her place as his best friend. Cut her a little bit of slack.
Not all relationships in this case will be the same and if you still feel uneasy about their friendship don’t be scared to talk to your guy about it. If you talk to him in a calm and non-accusatory way he will be more likely to listen and consider your point of view. However, you need to hear him out as well. His side of the story matters just as much as yours. You also shouldn’t make him choose between you two. No one wants to be in a situation where they have to choose one person over another; especially if each person means something to him. Every relationship has its ups and downs, but it’s working together to solve the problem that makes it stronger.