Relationships can be difficult at times, especially if you are with someone who is treating you badly. I was in a bad relationship for over ten years. It happened soon after I had lost the love of my life. I met this guy and that was it. There was a time when I thought there was going to be no way out for me either. I spent many nights crying and praying to God to help me out.

The pain of my soul.

This guy was treating me very baldy and yet, I loved him. That is what happens when you come from abuse, it feels like home to you. You don’t know anything else. I went from loving him to hating him, all at same time. This is a gut-wrenching, soul-shattering position for your heart to be in.  I did have a home. But after I lost the love of my life, that home came and went. I was so crushed that I didn’t think I deserved any better. So I stayed with this guy. But ten years later, I finally got the courage and strength to walk away. I had finally had enough.

I’m in a bad relationship: How do I get out?

If you are in this situation it may seem hopeless, as if there is no way out. But there is. And I’m going to give you a few tips on what to do and how to get out.

You need to have a plan in place.

By this I mean that you need to have somewhere to go. If you can’t afford a place, then get in touch with a local shelter. These shelters can help you get back on your feet. Make sure that you pack a few things and place whatever you don’t need right away in storage. Only keep the essentials with you. Don’t over-pack. You need to get out as quickly as possible.  You don’t have time to over-think anything.

Make sure you assess why you are leaving.

Figure out what went wrong. There may have been some really good times, but ask yourself why you are leaving. Are the good times enough to stay?  Did the person you are with become an addict, as well as an abuser? Did they mentally shut down in some way. All of this will help you to understand if you are making the right choice or not.  In other words, don’t just choose to leave because the two of you had a fight. There has to be emotional and physical proof as to why you are leaving.

Cut all ties and memories of him.

Don’t take keep sakes with you. This will only encourage you to keep thinking of him. When you are packing, leave behind all the memories. You are making the choice to start over, so leave that life behind.

Contact the police.

Make sure you get in touch with them and give them the details. If your partner finds out that you are leaving, he might resort to scare tactics. Don’t let that intimidate you anymore. You may also want to have an officer there just to make sure you can leave safely.

Once you are gone, never look back.

Don’t give your partner a reason to contact you. In other words, leave without any trace.  Sometimes he will beg you to come back and say things like, “It will never happen again, I didn’t mean it”.  Don’t play into that game. You are starting over and that is what you need to stay focused on.